Finding the will is the first step in dealing with many estates, and it is usually quite straightforward. But sometimes it can take some digging, and you might encounter some emotional challenges on the way. There are a few simple things to look out for to make the search easier, including keys and lawyers' phone numbers. Once you find it, do not alter it and keep it secure, as you'll have to file it with probate court.

Locating the will

When there is more than one will, the last-dated one takes precedence, assuming your loved one created it in a valid way and was of sound mind when they did so. Proving otherwise can be very difficult, however, and only family members with standing can contest a will. It is important to stay focused on honoring your loved one's wishes and approaching slighted family members with understanding and compassion.

Which will: What to do if your loved one left multiple wills

Most people have ideas about how and if they want to be buried, if they are going to have a memorial service, or if they want their ashes scattered in a specific location. In some cases, honoring your loved one’s final wishes can be more complicated than you would expect. Remember that ultimately what matters is how far you have gone to honor their memory, knowing that not everything is possible. Sometimes, all you need to do is your best.

When your loved one’s final wishes are impossible

Few things are harder than being disinherited, so it’s best to approach a relative who is going through it with care. If the situation becomes antagonistic, there are some good approaches that can help defuse the tension and restore your relationship. Approach them with understanding and compassion, but make sure to take care of your own emotional well-being as you do so.

What to do when a family member is disinherited

Though you are not required to share your loved one’s will with the family and other beneficiaries, talking it through with them is a good way to open lines of communication and prevent issues down the road. Once the will is filed, it becomes public record, but you are advised to sit down with each beneficiary and discuss what the will says and how the process will go. These conversations can be difficult if someone feels slighted, but approaching them with openness and transparency can go a long way.

Sharing the will with the family

It’s an emotional experience to be named in your loved one’s will or trust, especially when it comes as a surprise. Figuring out what comes next can feel daunting, but the good news is that the expectations of you are pretty clear-cut. Here are a few basics to help you find peace of mind as you take on the role of executor, trustee, or beneficiary of your loved one’s will or trust.

When you’re named in a will or a trust

Although a will is a binding legal document that gives someone's instructions for their estate, it is not usually possible for them to completely disinherit their spouse. Most states have a right of election, which gives the spouse a share, no matter what. The surviving spouse can clame their elective share, even if the will says they get nothing. Only a prenuptial agreement can get around the spouse's right of election. 

Can a will disinherit a spouse?

There are four different ways a loved one may have left their assets to you or other beneficiaries in their will. Each has its own set of rules, and they have important implications if there are complications during probate. Specific bequests name a particular item. General bequests leave an amount of money. Demonstrative bequests name the account where the money will come from. And residuary bequests leave everything that is left over after all debts are paid and other bequests are distributed.

Types of gifts in a will

Family dynamics can be tricky even when you’re not grieving the loss of a loved one. When inheritance conflicts come up, family disagreements can feel overwhelming. A disinherited relative might feel shortchanged, and believe that others are less deserving. Or, a child might feel unloved. But there are some good ways to deal with difficult family inheritance issues while taking care of your own emotional well-being.

How to resolve family inheritance conflicts

Immediate steps to take if your loved one did not have a will

When a fiancé dies

To be valid, a will needs to be signed in front of two witnesses, who may be called on to testify to the signer's intentions and state of mind. The procedure of signing a will is simple, but very important, as it establishes that the testator willingly and knowingly agreed to the terms of the will. Anyone can be a witness, as long as they are over 18 and not one of the will's beneficiaries. If the will is contested, the witnesses may be called upon to testify.

Witnesses to a will

Occasionally, a will is completely handwritten without the help of a lawyer and is not officially witnessed. This is also known as a holographic will, and it can be valid in some states and some circumstances. They are very hard to prove in court, however, and could lead to issues and even intestacy.

What is a holographic will?

The first steps to take with the will after someone dies

If you know your loved one wrote a will but you cannot find the original document, you may be able to prove its existence in court. It can be difficult to do this, but if you have a copy it will help a great deal. You will have to prove that this version was never revoked, and that it was signed following the proper procedures. Without a copy, witnesses may testify, but their testimony will face more scrutiny. If the court does not accept the missing will, and the family do not agree unanimously to uphold it, inheritance will proceed as if there is no will.

When there is a will but it can’t be found

Not everyone leaves behind a will, but all estates must be settled. Your family can generally choose who is appointed to adminster the estate, but state intestacy laws will determine who inherits what. There will potentially be some complications because your loved one's intentions, or your family's interpersonal relationships, are not taken into account. But these legal boundaries can also create a sense of calm at a difficult time. 

The Will

No matter what you’re dealing with, we have the knowledge you need right now.